Helping Breast Cancer
by totalweirdo12
Summary: Zeus wanted to help breast cancer. Yet not doing anything and making the other gods and goddesses do everything is bad. But making they attract people is worst. And selling them on dates is JUST WRONG!
1. Artemis & Poseidon

Artemis was disgusted. She was off to a club. Yes, a _club. _Her father had a assembly about a brilliant idea that contain helping women with breast cancer. At first she was happy at that idea but then when she learned that the money will come from a date auction she got angry but what else was that she was going to attract some of the guy costumers at a club. A CLUB!

She took a deep breath, '_For the women'_ She though. But once she looked at what she was wearing, her fury spiked up again. She was wearing a cocktail dress that showed way too much skin for her liking especially around the V- neckline and the cross-straps on the back was really unnecessary. And there was.. she shuddered... _sequins. _The worst part was that the dress ended at her mid- thigh so it was really uncomfortable. She really had no clue why she was doing this. Maybe its because of her fathers demands or because of amount of women she could save, it really didn't matter this really wasn't fair, she had no one to help her because all the others gods or goddesses worked in pairs and because Hera and her father didn't have to attract anyone and Hephaestus was making the auction place look '_sexy' _there was only 9 other gods and Aphrodite made sure that Artemis was alone_. _She really wish she could switch places with her twin. He was going to a beach. An all-girls beach.

_Calm down_! She told herself. Suddenly before she knew it, she was inside the club and a guy was touching her ass. She sigh before slapping him away. Why on earth did she agree to this mission!

* * *

><p>Poseidon was enjoying this. First he was near his ocean. Second, it was an all- girl beach; how Zeus manage to get them in, he had no clue, and third he could attract any girls that he want and they had to buy him at the auction. Now if only his nephew would stop worrying about his twin. He was a wreck pacing up and down the sand while girls were looking at him lustfully. But Poseidon could care less, he had 5 hot babes on his arms and his wife didn't even bother making the ocean angry. This was finally a mission he might enjoy. He was wearing a simple light blue swimming trunk while Apollo was wearing a simple dark red swimming trunk that his sister had picked out for him.<p>

Finally when he saw his nephew walking out of the beach, he ran after him and sent an apologetic look to the ladies that were on his arms. He was nervous, Zeus said that if the gods in pair don't look out for one another then he would reveal there worst fear, and he did not need people to know that he once had sex with a man that he thought was a girl.  
>"Wait! Where are you going!" He asked his nephew when he caught up with him. His nephew didn't even glance at him when he said "My baby sis is in trouble, she alone and I have no idea where to find her. What if she gets lost? Rape? I can't risk it!"<br>"Apollo, Apollo, Apollo. Didn't you know that Hephaestus had a camera on her so that he could watch out for her? Since he was supposed to be her partner." I lied through my teeth hoping that he would believe me. I really need to get back to those girls. He looked wary. "Really?"  
>"I know he is, you know reasonably Hephaestus likes so, of course!" Finally his guarded look melt away and he runs back to the beach. "Uncle, I bet I can get more girls then you," Yay! He's back to his playful self. "You're on!"<br>I hope that Apollo doesn't know I'm lying.

* * *

><p><strong>Their clothes are on my profile. Next chapter is focused on maybe Hermes and Athena.<strong>


	2. Hermes

Hermes was really bored. Demeter would let him steal anything at the park. He got to do nothing while she was helping people do the thing she loved the most.. plant. Just his luck that he had to be partner with Demeter; the plant loving manic. And that's not even the worst part, they were going to a park. Yes, A PARK! And the worst part is... no, you don't want to know the worst, you do? Well too bad...

Maybe I should tell you, when Hermes got here with Demeter, he was so excited to be able to show off his stealing moves to the girls around but when Demeter, that boring, old biddy learn that a uninteresting

plant-a-tree event going on, she forgot the whole entire 'attract guy plan' and decided to plant trees instead. She even told Hermes to not stealing any trees or tools. The nerves of that woman!

_'But she never said I couldn't steal something else,'_ He thought cunning looking at a 6 year old girl holding a toy shovel while her mother was planting a small baby cherry tree. Then he looked back at Demeter and saw her busy planting a pine tree. Then with speed no human can compare to, he ran over to the little girl.

This was his plan: He steal the toy shovel - the girl cries - people, mostly girls look - he pretends to give back the shovel -little girl is happy -girls fall in love with his godly looks, oh wait! He is a god, he cracks himself silly! Ha! = Job well done & he can brag about how many girls he got to Apollo and make other gods jealous.

So that was the plan exact the 6 year old girl didn't really went with the plan. Instead of the shovel being took away, she seem to read his mind and before Hermes could grab the toy, she hit him on the head with it

"WAHHH! Baw boy hewe!" She cried pointing at the dazed god.

_10 minutes later_

So now instead of love-stuck faces towarded him, girls and guys were glaring at the 18-looking god. The plan was totally ruined! And from the corner of his eyes he could see the six year old girl playing. And is that a smirk on her face! OH! That brat is going to get it! But before he could stand up, the glares made him fall onto the bench again. He sighed, why did he get chosen to go to the park not the mall. Then he looked at Demeter again, and she was still planting the pine tree.

_'UGH! I give up!' _

* * *

><p><strong>Wow! I got 2 favorite story and 6 story alerts! sorry but i'll try to updated the Athena on Saturday.<strong>

**"Baw boy hewe." = "Bad boy here."**


	3. Ares

**Thank you for reviewing and giving me your suggestions. I am sorry if your pick didn't get pick. Better luck next time if I have another poll like that. **

**So my finally choice-**

**God that is going with Athena is Ares and the place is a library. The place was really hard to pick and I had to do a close my eye and pick one on the list I wrote down. **

**Thank you again for those who review and give me good suggestions.**

* * *

><p>This was a very tough dayfor Ares. First he wanted to be partnered with Aphrodite but god, I mean Zeus had to give him the know-it-all bookworm that can even attract anyone expect for nerds like her. And worst of all, he was stuck in the figging, retared library with her, where it was forbidden for all the hot girls to be in so all there was, were a few brave nerdy looking girls coming up and trying to flirt with him. I mean TRYING. But whenever they came up all he did was gave them THE glare and they run away.<p>

And do you even want to know where his oh so wonderful partner was? Hint, note the sarcasm.

She was sitting on a brown couch in the library not even looking at him or any other guys just reading a book call "War and Peace".

_'What the fuck! We're war gods wanting war and all she could do is read about peace! Peace is so overrated!' _Ares though nodding to himself. He needed a plan. If Athena was reading a book on peace then that means she was going to most likely to quit being a war god, and if she wasn't a war god then Zues would need a new war goddess and even though he didn't want to admit it, she was a very... g-good war god.

He needed a plan, any plan that his mind could think of. Suddenly a veryyyyyyy good idea came to his mind. It was so easy. All he had to do was rip the book and because he was a god, everybody wouldn't mind. Ahh, the simple joy of being a god.

So he softly step over to her but the chains on his jacket made these stupid jigging sounds and he had to stop. Good thing she was so into the book that she didn't notice.

He suddenly katate-chop the book but before he could rip the book she turned around holding the book away from him. "You're not very good at hidding,"  
>Then he realized when Athena went back to reading that he just got owned. By a teensy, bookworm.<p>

Ugh! Why did his father love Athena so much that she got to chose where they would go.

He needed a new plan. Then it came to his mind. He was finally getting smarter with these ideas coming 50 mph in his mind. If only these ideas weren't so crazy.  
>Next time with them is <strong>Operation- Pretend to be librarian getting a book. <strong>Now if only these chains would stop jigging.

* * *

><p><strong>That's it! I'm sorry if this is short.<strong>

**And there was this reviewer who said I should do minor gods/goddesses but there is just so many, so I was wonder if you all could help me. I just need six gods/goddesses and it would be really nice if you add a place too. Thanx, hope you like this chapter.**


	4. Hades

**Now I will give you...**

**Aphrodite and Hades at the mall! Be warned of pink sparkling Hades, and a crazy Aphrodite. Remember to choose a minor gods/goddesses for an extra story. And the place.**

* * *

><p>Aphrodite was having the time of her life. It was so... so...so MARVELOUS! WONDERFUL! ASTONISHING! RARE! UNUSA- now I could list all the the things I want to say but you probably don't want to hear it. Now the sight that is blowing out beautiful love goddess away is...<p>

Of course the mall. And.. that's right there was an and. And.. Hades. Now you would think there wasn't anything special about Hades that is making Aphrodite cry in joy. But that's when your wrong, he was in a pink sparking princess dress. When Zeus told Aphrodite that if she could dress Artemis in a club-worthy dress then she could dress Hades anyway she wanted.

It was such a win-win bargain for Aphrodite. She could make Artemis 'sexy', of course not sexy enough to beat her and Hades' wardrobe improve a little. I mean, I don't know about you but pink is soooo the new black.

So why was Hades so peculiar-looking? And not complaining?

Well, you can almost say that Zeus is the god of bribe, because he promise Hades that if he went along with Aphrodite and attract some people then Persephore stay with him whole 2 years! 2 years! So of course he agreed.

Expect the fact that alot of people were laughing at him. People of all ages were trying and failing to contain their laughter in their mouths. But Hades still paster that fake smile on and twirl around in the dress and Aphrodite started crying in waterfalls muttering about 'Oh, Artemis in sexy clothles and now Hades in a dress, my dream come true.' Lots of boys were staring at her but it seems like she forgot about the date stuff and was still crying.

"You know what? This dress suits you so well that I'm going to get you another one! Stay where you are!" And she ran into the crowd.

Meanwhile Hades jump onto a couch and took out a cigarette while some boys started whistling at him.

_'Remember. It's for Persephore.' _He though positively to himself. But then... HIS INNER VOICE OBJECTED..

_'We should KILL them all.'_

_'No, if we kill them, then Zeus wouldn't let sweet Persephore be with us.'_

_'Just one kill!'_

_'No, No, NO!'_

And for the next hour, Hades had to fight his inner voice and wear girly clothes and try to maintain his non-living sanity, while Aphrodite was crying the whole time, and boys staring at Aphrodite and wolf-whistling at Hades. You could say today was not normal.

* * *

><p><strong>HI! I actally finish quicker then I though I would! Next is Hestia and Mr.D. Please help me choose a good place! And Hades in pink dress on profile! That's right a picture of him on the couch in a pink dress, smoking!<strong>


	5. Themis & Tyche

**Hi! This chapter is going to be longer then my normal chapters because it has more gods/goddesses in it. It wouldn't be that funny ok? Since my brain is like fried of ideas.**

* * *

><p>"This is totally unfair!" Zelus yelled out, his voice drowing out in the casino. Only Themis who was next to him at this moment heard him. "Please, just stop whining! You should already know that you can't win against your sister and Nike. I mean, even Calliope lost and she's not going off and making some weird epic p-"<p>

_"Oh, why did I pick this cruise; _  
><em>when I knew I would lose." <em>Calliope voice seem to come out of nowhere.

Zelus smirked at Themis, "What did you just say?" Themis just sighed, "Why can't you just be cheering for your sister?"

"I hate my sister! She nothing but a cheating, weird, arrogant, bit-"

_"Oh, do not say that about your sister,  
>One day you might miss her," <em>Calliope's voice was heard clearly by them even thought they still could not see her.

"Wow, your poem are worst than Apollo's." Calliope came out of her hiding spot, her brown hair wildly flowing around her as her eyes glared at Zelus so hard that Themis thought he could've been safer in the under world.

_"WHAT THE HADES!  
>YOUSHOULDN"T BE MEAN TO A LADY!"<em>

"Oh you think you're a..." Themis sighed for the 3rd time, blocking out their argument. 'Ah, young gods these days.' she though before going to the drink area to smoothe her headache.

* * *

><p>With Tyche and Nike<p>

This game was NOT a matter of fun. This game is a HUGE matter of seriousness.

Nike's hair was pinned up on top of her head with little crystal droplets of sweat collecting at her hairline. Her skilled finger were holding her cards so hard that bystander were afraid she was going to rip them.

Her brown eyes seem to glare at her cards again and agin to find a way to win. She sat on her rose copper colour seat as if she was made up of stone.

Boys were flocking to her like bees to honey but she just glanced at her and then went back to her cards. Nothing was going to be in the way of her victory.

While Nike was worrying about winning, Tyche was smirking at her cards. She was so gonna win against the goddess of victory! Another one of her lucky days! She smiled slyly, "I know you have one, Nike, just give it."

The reply she got only made her smile widen, "I said I don't have it."

"Oh you just don't want to lose, don't you, cheater?" Nike glared at her and handed her a card. She opened her mouth-

"Go Fish.'

"B-but, I didn't even say anything yet."

"Girrrrl, you've been asking for a jack for the past 10 minutes. I don't have a jack for the last time."

Why were they playing such a childish game? Because after winning 6 rounds of blackjack, they decided to play the hardest game ever created- GO FISH!

On Nike's hand, she had one jack and a new mystery card where on Tyche hand held a 7. She didn't even have to predict to know she was going to win. There was only one card in the deck left. The jack. And how does she know. Let's just say luck is always with her.

"I want a 7," She said confidently. After 3 seconds Nike started crying, tearing flowing down her beautiful face. Guilt immdeataily hit her heart. Nike was crying!

"You know, you don't have to..." Then she saw the tears. Then were clear, not gloden! She was lied to.

"I WIN!" Nike yelled pushing down double jacks, "Now, my prize?" She asked holding out her palm expectaly. Tyche sigh push five 100 into her waiting hands.

_"Ah, I need more money from daddy now." _It seems lady luck wasn't on her side.

* * *

><p><strong>Ok that's all for today.<strong>


	6. Zeus

**This is the last chapter but there will be a sequal, I hope:)**

* * *

><p>Zeus sigh as he watched over the other god. They were not doing very good. Artemis, Posiden, and Apollo might doing okay but the rest were way off topic. He would have done it himself but Hera forced him to stay and watch while she went to sleep. MEANIE!<p>

Zeus hope that the others were atracting alot of people because he wanted to help. And maybe, you know, save hot women's lives.

* * *

><p><strong>This story has been a blast! Thanx for all those reveiws!<strong>

**Favorite Author- 9 (THANX!)  
>Favorite Story- 12 (YOHH!)<br>Reviews- 27  
>Alerts- TOO MUCH TO COUNT!<strong>


	7. Artemis & Hermes

Artemis woke up with painful headache. It felt like someone was drumming on her head. And it was not a plesant feeling. And what was worst was that she could not recall some memories from last night. This was not a good thing. All she remember was that an _innocent_ maiden offered her some drink and then this whoosy feeling came over her and the last thing she remember before blacking out was that a stranger picked her up.

Suddenly she noticed she was only in a big t-shirt that was suited for a guy. Wait...A GUY! She also noted that she had a bandaged arm but that wasn't important right now.

While her body was slowly catching up with her brain, she didn't hear the bedroom door open and see that the stranger was slowly walking behind her...

"BOO!" He shouted scaring her.

"AHHHHHHH!" She heard herself yeel in reply. Normally she wouldn't be this scared but you know...

Artemis- bow & arrow+ headache+ confusion+ a man= kinda scared Artemis.

She was just about to call her huntresses when she heard a laughing sound. "Aha-ha-ha, yo-you, ha-ha, sh-should,ha, have s-seen, hahaha the l-look on your face, hahaha!"

Artemis of course recognized this voice, "HERMES!"

That of course caught his attention "Hey, how did you recognize me so easily, I hid myself wisely!" Artemis didn't understand what he meant until she turned around and looked at him closely, he was wearing an old man mask and he seem to stuff himself with pillow to make him seem fat. But Artemis not amused, she was really confused and angry. "Don't come in without knocking! I wouldn't have figured you for the type to have sensitive knuckles."

"This is my room." Hermes reply, not happy about the sensitive knuckles comment.

"Oh." Artemis would like to say more but she was still kinda in a hangover. Hermes stared at her unusually serious. "So you probaly want to know what happened right?"

Artemis just nodded, the hangover came back 3 times more powerful. Hermes of course had to start dramatically.

"As you know, I, the powerful god of commerce, thieves, travelers, sports, athletes, and border crossings, guide to the Underworld was really bored being stuck in the park with the old maid Demeter so at 9 p.m. I recieved the call to pick you up at the club. As you know my awesome flying skil-"

"Stop joking and just get to what happened."

"Fine, fine, fine, pushy. Ow! I'm starting! Ok when I got to the club, you would not believe what I saw. I saw you on one of the table dancing with a mean looking guy. So being the awesome me, I saved you and carried you to my small apartment." He finished posing the 'nice guy' pose from Naruto.

"Um.. that doesn't really decribe why I'm in you shirt."

"I don't think you want to know this part. OW! Fine, I'll tell you. When you came to my house, I knoecked some coke on your clothles and you were shaking so me being such an awesome god changed you. OWWW! Not like that! I blindfolded myself ok?" He pouted after being hit for the 6th time. Artemis didn't really care, she walk out of the room to see the kitchen. "Hey, I'm hungry. Let's go out and eat."

"Why don't you trust me to cook?" He said hurt.

"Fine, if you're going to cook, then I'm going to need a pen and some paper."

"…Why"

"So I can write my last will and testament, of course."Hermes started fake-crying.

"I'm good at cooking! Trust me."

"Last time you cooked for me, you blew up my kitchen and almost killed six of my huntresses." She said calmly. Her head was starting to clear but the headache was still there.

"B-but I improved!"

"No."

"Come on, give me a chance."

"No."

"You never even tried any!"

"No."

"You suck!"

"No."

"If it wasn't me, then you would've gotten rape."

"Fine." Artemis really wasn't in a good mood and because he _did_ save her, she give him a chance. But as he jogged over to the stove, she hope she didn't get herself killed by her choice.

* * *

><p><strong>The time is always changing so Athena and Ares are still in the library and Apollo is still at beach so the time will be changing every chapter.<strong>


	8. Ares & Athena

**Sorry it's been so long. I'm not really obsess with Percy Jackson as I use to be, so i'll be updating kinda slow. Sorry if this is a little bit short. I decided to delete the sequel and continue it on here.**

* * *

><p>Ares walked up to the service center with an actual plan in mind. The lady there started talking in a robot tone, "Hello sir, is there anything I can do for you toda-?"<p>

Yep, You can guess what happened next, he knocked her dead. Just kidding, he simply hitted her gently on the neck. He then took her nametag and card and dragged her into the storage room. He quickly shut the door behind him and took a nearby working dress off the hanger and started stripping.

5 minutes later-

It was tight. Really tight. He already tried 5 different size and even Xlarge still ripped. This was getting out of hand. Athena had probably started take down notes on why war should not happen and he was still in the storage room, playing makeover. Good thing no other gods or goddesses could see him now.

Finally he found what he was looking for. XXXXXlarge. It was perfect, he hurrily pull that on and actually _looked _in the mirror. He had to admitted, he could see why so many girls fall for him. He was sooooooo hot- wait, what? He was becoming like Apollo and Hermes. No WAY! The were wimps and he simply cannot be like them. He frown, taking out a lipstick that Aphrodite gave him as their 723rd anniversary.

He use to think that it was a waste of money, but now he was thankful he has it. He put the red lipstick on and posed. He look beautiful! Gosh, he was starting to become like that self-absorbed dude, Narcissus.

Finally when he though he looked fine, he walk out of the storage room with a book cart. He walked right over to where Athena was sitting and coughed to get her attention. "Ahem. Sweetheart, we need those books, because somebody had already put reservation on them." He said in a sickly sweet voice that made him flinch.

Without even looking up at him, she answered, "I know its you, Ares."

Ares was shocked. He spent 30 minutes in the bathroom just to dress up and she didn't even look up. He had to think of something, anything, "Um, my name's not Ares. It's Aresa."

"I know it's you. And please refrain yourself from standing too close. People are staring," Sure enough, people were pointing and laughing at him. Ugh! Another failed plan. He ran back to the storage room and sigh. He needed a bigger plan. Better plan. He was going to need some reinforcement. This means war.


End file.
